The CIO and the iPhone
Once upon a time in a mist-shrouded and magical land there lived a wise old chief information officer (CIO) called Bob. Bob spent a great deal of time in deep thought about the mysteries of the business-aligned organisation. He was also much given to navel gazing on the possible future of information technology in the new Millennium (blaming Ginsters for the fact that his navel was so visible).
Earlier in his career Bob had posited the theory that by dint of sweat, labour and meticulous research he would uncover a marvellous and mysterious device that would draw together the fragmented and disparate strands of his technology-dependent enterprise. He dreamed of a day when the mighty corporate sales and marketing machine would discover the true potential of IT to bring home their bacon and boost their bottom line.
He tried many things, including a variation of Sugata Mitra’s Hole in the Wall experiment and he seeded a number of active terminals throughout the Reading HQ. He soon discovered, as the professor had, that: “The acquisition of basic computing skills by any set of business users can be achieved through incidental learning provided the learners are given access to a suitable computing facility, with entertaining and motivating content and some minimal (human) guidance.”
Within a matter of 36 hours:
- Fourteen holidays had been booked, 173 songs were downloaded and 47 books and DVDs had been ordered on Amazon;
- Boxes of “exotica” began arriving in plain wrappers and cut-price cases of wine were blocking reception;
- Three moth-eaten sofas, five sets of garden furniture, two barbeques and a folding bike had bids placed for them on eBay;
- Multiple accesses of EastEnders re-runs had collapsed the BBC iPlayer server;
- Page3.com had blocked the IP addresses of every terminal in the building;
- £78,000 had been transferred offshore by “lucky” Nigerian Lottery winners;
- Thames Valley Police had raided the offices twice, investigating multiple online offences including online stalking, illicit gambling and the hosting of a pirate file sharing site;
- The finance director had trousered in excess of £7850.28p after posing online as the Lithuanian teen-brides, Loli and Tchitchi;
- A rogue systems analyst had installed keystroke loggers on all the terminals and was blackmailing three board members and the tea lady.
Unfortunately, though, no corporate systems were accessed, no databases or CRM systems were updated and calls to the helpdesk spiked by 78 per cent.
Disappointedly, Bob widened his intellectual net and joyfully discovered the BlackBerry. With amazing rapidity the gaps in the business narrowed as the uptake of the new technology rocketed. The enterprise became connected and available 24/7. Demands for connectivity and updated information soared and Bob was a happy fellow. The business was finally aligning with IT; albeit invisibly.
So he rested on his laurels a bit and all was happy in his little kingdom. The chief executive loved him and the board erected a bust in his likeness in the marbled lobby of head office. People in the company began calling him by his given name instead of “Oi!”, “you there” and “techie chap”.
And then one day, from out of nowhere, the iPhone was launched and the gaps between the CIO and the must-haves, the I-wants and the give-it-to-me-or-I’ll-tell-the-chief-executives widened into a veritable chasm. The helpdesk was inundated with petulant request forms, death threats began appearing on the intranet and he tired of telling the company how the iPhone didn’t cut and paste, didn’t support the email environment and wasn’t security aware enough.
Then, lo and behold, the 3G S model was launched and Bob can no longer be reached on his desk phone and the Samaritans have stopped taking his calls.
Shame Bob.
But - it is a thing of beauty and a joy to use. Mine arrives next week; although I have to say that new Nokia looks rather tasty.



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