Do call centres like customers?

Over the years there has been great debate about call centres.

Are they the best way of providing customer service? Should they be staffed by employees of the organisation they serve? Can they be offshored? If not, which region has the best accent to encourage a friendly service?

There is no single or simple right answer, otherwise everyone would adopt the same solution. But - I want to look at the way calls are handled in call centres.

Yes - the staff answering the phone are usually friendly, they give you their first name and appear competent and keen to help. But why, oh why, do they have to depend on, and follow rigidly, a set script?

Let me give you a recent example.  Just before Christmas, I wanted to check the opening times of my local bank branch. Its web site advised me that there were special opening hours between Christmas and New Year and that customers should phone the call centre number to check the actual times. So - phone in hand, I did just that.

First you have to run the gamut of the sales chat telling you of all the wonderful products that you are not interested in. Then you're reminded that calls may be recorded for training purposes (in other words, watch what you say!) Then comes the keypad selection :  no, I don't have a query on my account; no, I don't want to open an account/setup a direct debit/pay a bill / etc. etc.  So I hang on until the system recognises I want to be put through to an advisor. At last !

'John' answers the phone.  He asks me for my account number.  'No', I say, 'I just want to know when the branch will be open.' 'Yes' he says enthusiastically, 'I can help you with that'. 

He asks for my account number - again.  'Why?', I say, 'my account is not at the branch I want to know about.  Please can you just tell me the opening hours of branch xx.'

'Yes of course' says John ' can I have your name please'.  'No! I just want to know when the branch will be open. It doesn't matter who I am. It doesn't matter whether or not I am an existing customer. I don't want you to sell me any products or offer to manage my account. I only want to know when the branch will be open. If I walk in to the branch, off the street, and go to its information desk, they'll tell me without asking my personal details, so why do you need to know?'

Eventually, John agrees that he can provide me with the information I need without knowing who I am. Success - but at what cost? - to his time and to my time and temper.

I could have complied and given John the details he wanted. I'm sure then he would have been happy following his script, eventually answering my query and trying to keep me on the line offering all sorts of help which I didn't need. But if I take that line of least resistance, will things ever change?

Who decides what the customer wants?  Who considers the efficiency and effectiveness of the call centre?  It appears to me, as a humble customer, that call centres are set up to be able to employ staff who can operate largely untrained by following a script and never deviating.

Call centres are not designed for customer happiness - and until someone recognises that, there will continue to be people like me who use them only a last resort and under great sufferance.  But, perhaps that's what they want - after all, the fewer incoming calls they have, the cheaper the centre is to run and the greater the profits to the organisation!  Or am I just being cynical..